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Ginny Paige

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[28 Nov 2004|07:57pm]
NEW JOURNAL: anorexxia
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[23 Nov 2004|07:14am]
[ mood | enraged ]

A while ago,
i was talking with a girl who was a friend of a friend.
and she talked insescently, about NOTHING

no,....wait, i take that back
she did talk about her boyfriend.

as in:

blah blah MY BOYFRIEND blah blha blah THEN MY BOYFRIEND blah blahblha blha BLAH blaaaah blah MY BOYFRIEND blah blah MY BOYFRIEND blah blah Blaaaaaaaaaaaaah blah blah BOYFRIEND bashajshaksh BOYFRIEND ajdhka BOYFRIEND ajhd BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND

Et Cetera.

So, i said
"well, I think we have established that you are Romantically Involved™ with SOME BOY.
But, not only did you just tell me a bunch of RANDOME CRAP that i
do not give a damn about
but
you did Not ONCE
MENTION HIS NAME

She blinked at me stupidly, and then called me a jeolous bitch.

sorry no

Why would i be jeolous of some lame ass guy who probably cheated on her, becasue shes a whore and he only hangs with her for the Oral Sex.

Now,
don't get me wrong, theres nothing wrong with talking about your Boy or Girl Friend,
but uhhh....when you say the word BOYFRIEND or GIRLFRIEND every three words,
instead of the actual name..
It makes me belive you are more interested in haveing a significant other, then in who that significant other actually is.

Normally people use the actual name of the person they are talking about


Jason;
YOU dumped ME. YOU told ME that maybe we should take a break. YOU told ME that we were both young and maybe it would maybe be a good idea to try things out for a while. WHERE THE FUCK do YOU get off bitching at me, calling me names, prying into my personal life and making me miserable.I've moved on. With out you, because YOU wanted it that way. FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! If you hurt ANY OF MY FRIENDS ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I will personally drive down there and MAKE DAMN SURE YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF DOING IT IN THE FUTURE!!!



Oh, by the way.
To the lady in the versace store who tried to get the dress before me: Never get between a woman and her dress/shoes/accesory

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[23 Nov 2004|06:31am]
See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails he makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, he's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
With or without you
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[22 Nov 2004|07:20pm]
HUNGER hurts
But Starving works
When there's nothing left for you to love.


if shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine
if it had a home would it be my eyes
would you believe me if I said I am tired of this now
here we go now one more time...
I tried to climb your steps I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my way I tried to change this mind
you better believe I tried to beat this
when will this end it goes on and on over and over and over again
keep spinning around I know it won't stop till I step downfrom this for good
I never thought I'd end up here I never thought I'd be standing where I am
I guess I kind of thought it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong now one more time this is a sick cycle carousel this is a sick cycle...


Now maybe you know how I feel.
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[22 Nov 2004|04:02pm]
I wonder if you can guess who.

dearest alcohol,
we'll be together soon. it's been far too long. i miss you and your welcomed fuzziness.


Hey Babe,
Thanks for a wonderful evening when I was so upset. I'd hug you, but you have boycooties.

What's Up Asshole?
Stop ignonring me, we're never going to work this out if you don't talk to me.
" I hate how you can walk all over me and I can't even leave a dent in you..."


Pumpkin,
You are a waste of my time. But that's why I love you.


Sweetie,
I fucking hate you.
You think I don't care, well, you're wrong. The only thing I don't care for anymore is your constant bitching about your classmates, your constant whining about your lack of social life and your constant depression.
You're fucked.
You're my friend.
You say you feel I don't care, because I'm not online whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, well, I'm sorry, but sometimes I need a shoulder to cry on too and you're not really offering one. So I can't say I'm sorry about turning to the friends I have.

<3 love you anyway.

Bunchkin,
Do you really hate me this much?


Afternoon Lovely,

I miss you so much it's driving me insane! I just want you to randomly get on so we could talk. I never do have the nerve to call you, you must always call me. So I thought of a song that explains everything.....


Sunshine,
You and I should have sex.


Dear Time,
Come back to me.
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[21 Nov 2004|10:37pm]



Cut my tongue out
I've been caught out
Like a giant juggernaut
Happy hours
Golden showers
On a cruise to freak you out

We could fly a helicopter
Nothing left to talk about
Entertain you
Celebrate you
I'll be back to frame you


When I grow up
I'll be stable
When I grow up
I'll turn the tables

Trying hard to fit among you
Floating out to wonderland
Unprotected
God I'm pregnant
Damn the consequences


Blood and blisters
On my fingers
Chaos rules when we're apart
Watch my temper
I go mental
I'll try to be gentle


When I grow up
When I grow up
When I grow up
I'll turn the tables


Don't take offense
Better make amends
Rip it all to shreds and let it go

I rip it all to shreds and let it go
I rip it all to shreds and let it go
I rip it all to shreds and let it go.



I have lost, so, so, so, so much weight. My weight is something around 28 kg.
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[21 Nov 2004|12:27pm]
Sometimes people just REALLY need to fucking die. This girl whos been hanging around with me for like forever, whom I already hated, has been slowly beuilding her way up to 'Madame Cuntzilla' for a year now. I mean, she tries to make sure I'm excluded from everything which is just immature bitchiness in the end I suppose, but she's so fucking RUDE which is what gets me. For my last birthday, she gave me a HALF USED BOTTLE OF HER OLD NAIL POLISH. What. The. Fuck. Seriously, I'd rather not have gotten anything from you, you stupid piece of shit. That's just taking the piss. Then she wondered why she didnt even get a CARD from me this year. TAKE A GUESS, FUCKFACE. And the crap she says about me, for fucks sake. Also, she takes it upon herself to constantly make jokes about my boyfriend whom she has never met or spoken to. At all. When one of my friends who's going to ministry with her invites me along, this idiotic slag has the GALL to sigh and say 'do you have to invite her' in front of me. Now she's rude, or just fucking retarded. Neither are desirable traits, so she sucks cock forever the end. But it's not really the end yet, because the lamest thing shes done recently... she went up to one of my closest friends who was talking to one of my other friends, and whispers in her ear, 'Look at her, she's so lost without Lauren here, she has no friends.' NOW HOW FUCKING RETARDED CAN YOU GET? GO UP TO ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS AND SAY 'She has no friends'. That's like standing at a murder scene, going up to a cop and saying 'Dude, why's there no cops here yet?!'.

In short, I wish she would die a horribly slow and painful death at the hands of a HORNY BLENDER. Yes. Horny Blender.

P.S: All typos are due to my frenzied angry typing
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[21 Nov 2004|09:54am]
[ mood | crushed ]

I hate...
the casual ease with which disgust fills me.
the people who work at starbucks but can't spell 'Guenivere' or 'Ginny'
the way people underestimate my iq.
the color in my hair
my father
my step-father
people who think being rich is so different from being poor.
urban outfitters.
English Elements 405
SOSE 101
My knees
Fat
Sophie Walsh
Shakesphere in love
Britney spears.
People who say Green like the color. It's gi-ne.
Food
Whiskey
Chardonay
Pepsi
That star up in the sky that tells me to keep hope in my vocabulary
Roses.
Lilys.
Washi Paper
My 'art'
Sewing
Asshats


But I don't hate you.

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[20 Nov 2004|02:33am]
Sucker love is heaven sent.
You pucker up, our passion's spent.
My hearts a tart, your body's rent.
My heart's broken, yours is bent.

Carve your name into my arm.
Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed.
Cuz there's nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.

Sucker love, a box I choose.
No other box I choose to use.
Another love I would abuse,
No circumstances could excuse.


In the shape of things to come.
Too much poison come undone.
Cuz there's nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.
Every me and every you,
Every Me...

Sucker love is known to swing.
I'm Prone to cling and waste these things.
Pucker up for heavens sake.
There's never been so much at stake.

I serve my head up on a plate.
It's only comfort, calling late.
Cuz there's nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.
Every me and every you,
Every Me...

Every me and every you,
Every Me...

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.


All alone in space and time.
There's nothing here but what here's mine.
Something borrowed, something blue.

Every me and every you.
Every me and every you,
Every Me
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Pink Flamingo Filing Cabinets and ramblings... [19 Nov 2004|11:05am]
[ mood | Drunk/High ]

Dear you
Fuck you you fucking asshole. Fuck you. It was your own fault anyway.

I guess I could be pretty pissed off at what happened to me... but its hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and its too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and to stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid life. I know you have no idea what I'm talking about. But you will."

Got Katie Noonan's autograph.

Me and Jason broke up, but I'm not upset at all. I'm drunk, and high, and eating. Which should make you guys happy. Anyway,How are you all? I'm so sorry, everyone. I mean, really, I lay all this emotional guilt on people and shit, people feel sorry for me and I don't want them too. I love you all, have a great day, and comment, god damn you!


xxxo, Ginny/Green/Guenivere Turner Paige


I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation
You're living in the past it's a new generation
A girl can do what she wants to do and that's
What I'm gonna do
An' I don't give a damn ' bout my bad reputation

Oh no, not me

An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation
Never said I wanted to improve my station
An' I'm only feelin' good
When I'm havin' fun
When I don't have to please no one
An' I don't give a damn
'Bout my bad reputation

Oh no, not me
Oh no, not me

I don't give a damn
'Bout my reputation
I've never been afraid of any deviation
An' I don't really care
If I'm strange
I ain't gonna change
An' I'm never gonna care
'Bout my bad reputation

Oh no, not me
Oh no, not me

Break it down!

*groovy guitar*

An' I don't give a damn
'Bout my reputation
The world's in trouble
There's no communication
An' everyone can say
What they want to say
It never gets better anyway
So why should I care
'Bout a bad reputation, anyway
Oh no, not me
Oh no, not me
Oh no, Not Me,
oh no, not me

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[16 Nov 2004|03:31pm]
The girl in the chair with the long golden hair
Well that used to be me
A flirtatious smile, unpredictably wild
Always trying to please

I was always walking one step ahead
Or so I thought until the monster crawled into my bed

The wild man erased
That shocked look on your face
Just cause your Mona Lisa is dead
A million words, it's a thousand days

The girl I used to be
Has a terrible case of mistaken identity
Yesterday's girl is not what you see
It's a terrible case of mistaken identity

The sun likes to rise and the moon likes to fall
And that's kind like my life
Now I've played the role of the nice girl next door
It gets cut like a knife

I'm not looking for sorry eyes
And I don't wanna spend a night on a bed of beautiful ice
The breeze tells me why leave that sick all behind
Fast forward, fast forward a thousand days

The girl I used to be
Has a terrible case of mistaken identity
Yesterday's girl is not what you see
It's a terrible case of mistaken identity
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[15 Nov 2004|04:08pm]
"You'll be dead before you're thin enough." - My councellor(sp?)

BDD is thought to be a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder. It is not a variant of anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa.

The person with an eating disorder says, "I am so fat." The person with BDD says, "I am so ugly."

BDD often includes social phobias. Sufferers are shy and withdrawn in new situations and with unfamiliar people.

BDD affects about two percent of the people in the United States. It strikes males and females equally. Seventy percent of cases appear before age eighteen.

Sufferers are excessively concerned about appearance, in particular perceived flaws of face, hair, and skin. They are convinced these flaws exist in spite of reassurances from friends and family members who usually can see nothing to justify such intense worry and anxiety.

BDD sufferers are at elevated risk for despair and suicide. In some cases they undergo multiple, unnecessary plastic surgeries.

BDD is treatable and begins with an evaluation by a physician and mental health care provider. Treatments thus far found to be effective include medication (especially meds that adjust serotonin levels in the brain) and cognitive-behavioral therapy. A clinician makes the diagnosis and recommends treatment based on the needs and circumstances of each person.


What is the best treatment for an eating disorder?
Because many factors contribute to the development of an eating disorder, and since every person's situation is different, the "best treatment" must be custom tailored for each individual. The process begins with an evaluation by a physician or counselor. Recommendations include any or all of the following. In general, the more components included in the treatment plan, the faster the person makes progress.

Hospitalization to prevent death, suicide, and medical crisis.

Weight restoration to improve health, mood, and cognitive functioning. Note: An anorexic's fear of weight gain, especially forced weight gain in hospital, is a huge obstacle to treatment and recovery. Nevertheless, it is clear that the closer to normal weight is at the end of treatment, the better the chances of complete recovery. In study after study, low body weight is strongly correlated with treatment failure and relapse.

Medication to relieve depression and anxiety

Dental work to repair damage and minimize future problems

Individual counseling to develop healthy ways of taking control of one's life. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has proved effective in treating bulimia and binge eating disorder. The counseling of choice for anorexia is determined by individual and family circumstances.

Group counseling to learn how to manage relationships effectively

Family counseling to change old patterns and create healthier new ones

Nutrition counseling to debunk food myths and design healthy meals

Support groups to break down isolation and alienation. However, support groups by themselves are not sufficient treatment for an eating disorder. To be effective, they must be integrated into a comprehensive treatment plan.

FEEL MY MUTHAFUCKEN WRATH.
I will get my Revenge.
2 comments|post comment

[14 Nov 2004|09:22am]
This house is my own,
still living alone
it don't make you sad,
but you think it's good to be green.

This summer is gone,
and spring don't belong,
the traces are here,
for long winter,
Where is all the green,
it used to be clean.

If you wanna be free,
please don't fall for me,
I could be anyone but your friend.
If you open the door,
I'll give a whole lot more,
I could be anyone, anyone,
yeah.

Assumption is good,
though not likelyhood,
my feeling is true,
I wanna be living with you.

stolenCollapse )
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Red/Brown is the new blonde. [11 Nov 2004|04:50pm]
[ mood | content ]

Goodbye Blonde, Hello BRUNETTE♩♪♫♬〷ꀐ﷼♭♮Collapse )

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I'm not perfect/pure but I'm sure you're not either. [10 Nov 2004|08:12am]


Think Thin Collapse )

I'm having a shitty week. CHEER ME UP.
THEY'RE PUTTING ME IN A FUCKING HOSPITAL.
Would it kill you to comment?
1 comment|post comment

[09 Nov 2004|06:10am]
[ mood | crappy ]


Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief,
Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?

Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah
Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!
Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

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[08 Nov 2004|02:37pm]
Dear Anyone,

Where are you now? And what happened to our little promise that things would be better from now on?

I guess you forgot.

I feel a little forgotten.
I feel it a lot.

You know me too well, you know me well enough to know I will never be her, I can’t even try and compete. I do try though, and fail of course. Sometimes you need reminding she isn’t coming back. I’m sorry for you, I know how it feels to love someone who doesn’t really love you at all..

I watch you. It saddens me because I know you are so beautiful laughing. So stop crying. I can hear your heart sigh when you see me, I can tell you’re not 100% in this.

I want you to tell me now I rescued you, like you rescued me. But did I? I’m more of a replacement, a good friend but

Not good enough.

I should end it, and save us both the hurt but incase you haven’t noticed
I am in love with you.

Not the kind of love where…
We talk about politics and agree on sandwich fillings..

The kind of love where I want you with me by my side ALWAYS. Resting, sleeping, breathing, LIVING.
So fuck it all.

I need you.

And when you let go of my hand and she takes you back…
I’m already dissolving.

I know the future,
So let’s make a memorable past.

Worried shitless

Guenivere x
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[07 Nov 2004|07:26pm]
[ mood | content ]

I never know what to write in here. Ever. And no one ever comments anymore, either. I have a prac tommorow in my science class. Aiee. I suck at science, always have, even in grade school.


Oh, and I don't think I'm going to get married. I fell in love with a beautiful stranger, all madonna-esqe.

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[06 Nov 2004|12:26pm]
I am only determined to act in this manner that will constitute my own happiness, without the reference to you or to does not import that so completely secured without me. I went to the bank and then gave someone notes, when they transmitted me a reciept I have it fallen and the had to recall then grieved, I am bad to capitalism, I am bad to alot of There has so a lot of jePourtant to do that it frightens me, I dream to regulate the world, but which is good? if the contemplation in the speech, a thousand silent voices in a car travel THOUSAND wirey, the strident kilometers. this is it? can do not see you that I try?
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[04 Nov 2004|07:18pm]
je suis seulement résolu pour agir dans cette manière qui constituera mon propre bonheur, sans la référence à vous ou à n'importe qui si entièrement non lié avec moi. je suis allé à la banque et les ai donné quelques-uns note, quand ils m'ont transmis un reciept je l'ai tombé et devait les rappeler alors désolé, je suis mauvais au capitalisme, je suis mauvais à alot de choses en fait, il y a si beaucoup de jePourtant faire qu'il m'effraie, je rêve pour régler le monde, mais quel est bon ? si la contemplation dans le discours, un millier de voix silencieuses dans une voiture voyagent MILLE wirey, les kilomètres stridents. ceci est il ? peut ne vous voyez pas que j'essaie ?
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